I Bought A Hat

Since football season is in full swing, I thought it was time to retire my stupid cap with the stupid Walgreen's "W" on it. So I bought me a new hat and picked a number one NFL team.

I could root for a lot of teams. My family likes KC. I spent a lot of time in Carolina. And, I live in D.C. But I grew up in Cleveland. And Cleveland is the most footballsiest town I've ever lived in for any lenghth of time. So I bought a browns hat, a throwback fitted.

Of course, it kind of sucks that they're 1-2.

Told You I Was Just A Poser

I hope nobody placed any bets based on my prediction of the last football contest between the Washington Redskins and the Dallas Cowboys. If you did, please bear in mind that this blog is for entertainment purposes only. No wagers, please. So, the Redskins are 2-0 and might be showing up as a team that can put the hammer down in a clinch. The Redskins next play Seattle Oct. 2 at home.

You might notice that I don't follow the Baltimore Ravens. It's just that, you see, I hate the Baltimore Ravens, so I don't care. I hate the Ravens the same way a lot of Baltimore residents might hate the Colts. You bastards left Cleveland. Bastards.

The Carolina Panthers are 1-1 after a narrow loss at home to the Saints. They play Miami Sept. 25 @ Miami. The Cleveland Browns are 1-1.

Prediction

I predict that the Dallas Cowboys will beat the Washington Redskins 477-2.

The Examiner

You know, the Washington Examiner has a pretty good sports page. That's handy for people who ride the subway and who are boys and so we're supposed to know something about sports and stuff.

They had a little interview with Chick Hernandez, an achnor for Comcast SportsNet, who said the swiftness of Gibbs' decision on Ramsey and Burnell surprised him. He also said it would be interesting to watch because they'll probably have to play Ramsey later on, since quarterbacks aren't unfragile.

I just think if you don't have your starting QB nailed down by now in the season, you're probably screwed. Then again, I don't know what I'm talking about. Anyway, Ramsey said he never asked for a trade like was reported. I don't know why not. If my boss said I could be CFO this year and then suddenly busted me down to junior accountant, I'd be worried. And it certainly doesn't make your stock rise. It's a crappy thing to do to a guy, I think.

How do they decide the standings this early in the season? Everyone is either 1-0 or 0-1 today. I suppose there are other stats involved in settling the standings. PF and PA?

Oh. Points for and points allowed. Points you scored and points you allowed the other team to score. Looking for the answer I found this excellent FAQ.

So I don't know who to root for on Monday. I hate Dallas because you're supposed to hate Dallas. Gibbs is giving me reason to hate the Redskins.

So the Nats improved with a win today. Swept the Mets. That's good. I was thinking this morning that we're kidding ourselves to think we're going for wildcard, but that's pretty good.

Carolina plays New England Sunday. Think they'll win?

The Chiefs

God Damn It
I also have to learn things about the Kansas City Chiefs because a lot of people in my family like them.

They soundly defeated the New York Jets 27-7 on Sundy.

The Chiefs apparently have one of the more interesting rookies. His name is Derrick Johnson. He is a linebacker. The linebacker is supposed to tackle people who have the ball. This might be a good time for me to learn some of the positions. I'm serious. My knowledge of the game is that lame. I mean, in fifth grade I had just moved to a new school, and the other fellas were making fun because I didn't know football, and one asked me, how many quarters are there in a game? And I DIDN'T KNOW. Now, my football knowledge (and ability to fake knowing what I'm talking about) and my math have both improved considerably since then, but I still don't know who does what and why.

For me, this site will be useful.

http://www.playfootball.com/footballfacts/lesson1.html

Bah Bah Bah Buuuuuuh....Bah Bah Bah Bah Buuuuuuh...

I will be traveling next month to see the Carolina Panters to see them take on Green Bay. So I will also be looking at Carolina fupah for a bit.

As of Sunday, Carolina is 0-1. They got stunned by NOLA. The Panthers lost defensive tackle Kris Jenkins to a sprained right knee as he tried to take out Saints running back Deuce McAllister in the first quarter.

From reports: "(QB) Jake Delhomme threw two interceptions, but New Orleans fumbled away both during the returns. The Panthers also fumbled twice. Star: Saints rookie offensive tackle Jammal Brown did an outstanding job on Carolina's Julius Peppers, limiting him to six tackles and no sacks."

Meanwhile: Redskins. Tony Kornheiser puts yesterday's Redskins debut in perspective:

"At one point in history, the Bears beat the Redskins 73-0; these Bears won't score 73 all season."

By the way, Kornheiser says the refs were right not to throw down a flag on the clothelining of Ramsey. I don't know. It looked pretty rough to me. How can the rules discriminate between a clothesline tackle at the neck or the chest? Seems like such a move should carry a penalty regardless. That's nasty.

Portis: 21 carries, 121 yards, averaging to 5.76 y/c. That's more like it?

Is Clinton Portis Overrated?

5.5 yards a carry when he played for Denver. 3.8 yards a carry in D.C. last year.

I don't know. I like that his name is "Clinton."

Frank Robinson Is A Badass

My first entry into this blog is to notice that Washington Nationals' Manager Frank Robinson is a badass.

From the Post:

Robinson's staring contest with umpire Jim Wolf in the top of the third inning of the Nationals' 4-3 victory Wednesday was documented on, and timed by, ESPN's "SportsCenter," at 45 seconds. It began when Robinson complained about a strike call to first baseman Nick Johnson.

"I made my call, and I saw him almost come out of the dugout, and I didn't know what he was yelling at, because it wasn't really a questionable pitch," Wolf said Thursday. "I said, 'Are you yelling at me?' And I couldn't understand what he was saying."

Robinson, though, said Wolf was yelling at him to be quiet.

"He kept yapping at me, and I was talking at him, and he's telling me, 'No more,' but he's still yakking at me," Robinson said. "I'm trying to tell him, 'You stop talking to me if I can't talk to you.' "

Robinson's solution: Unleash the iciest of glares. "I kept looking back to see if he was yelling," Wolf said, "and all of a sudden, he just stared at me. I was like, 'What? Are you staring at me?' I felt like [Robert] DeNiro in 'Taxi Driver': 'Are you looking at me?' And he just kept staring, and I was like, 'All right, I'll stare at you back.' "

*

PTI commentators note that this happened on Robinson's 70th birthday.

Now, I know this is late, so the new stuff is that the Nats are still battling for wild card status after an apparently miraculous 8-6 comeback win versus Atlanta Friday. By the way, I had to do some Internet research to figure out what "wildcard" means. It means that a baseball team goes into the playoffs without winning its division. Here are a couple of links about the wildcard that I might have to read later:

http://www.all-baseball.com/ref/wildcard.html

http://www.athomeplate.com/wildcard.shtml

Poser Sports Fan

This is Poser Sports Fan blog.

By way of introduction: I am a near 40-year-old man who has never enjoyed specatator sports.

I believe this dislike of sports to be nature, not nurture. I remember my first experience with sports was when I was very, very young and my family sat down to watch a football game, and I was bored. I don't want to get into why I think I'm not a sports fan. Many will assume I'm gay. I'm not. I just have never "gotten it." I try to. I pretend to. I just don't.

But following sports is the coinage of acceptance among American males and, to some extent, among females, too. Women often expect you to follow sports even if they don't care for it. Women are weird. Thank goodness.

So I am a man who does not like sports. But I like to write, and I like to argue. Wouldn't it be cool, I thought, to use blogging to better my knowledge of sports and perhaps to more enjoy it and actually be able to discuss the topic without feeling like a child?

So, here it is. Poser sports fan. Enjoy. I will start in a moment by talking briefly about Frank Robinson of the Washington Nationals.